Tuesday, September 10, 2013

The Great Escape

 Author Notes: 1. A good story to read 2. The dialogue 3.Everything was mostly easy 4.No


Henry was walking to the cafeteria from his cell and he walked by a cell where he saw a guy screaming that he was innocent that what he did was self-defense. Henry seemed interested in the guy because everyone has a story to interesting tell so he went up to him.
“Hey what’s your name?” Henry asked
“Meursault” Meursault said “And you?”
“I’m Henry” Henry said “what the feds got you for?”
“For a murder that was self-defense” Meursault said
“What exactly happened?” Henry said
“Well this Arab pulled out his knife and was going for me and I shot him i once him once then three more time, since there was a gap between the shots they’re saying it was murder and some other stuff that nothing to do with the Arab’s death” Meursault said
“ I’ve been in one of those situations this guy pulled out his gun on me and I knocked it out of his hands then i stabbed like 20 times, the feds say since I knocked the gun out of his hands there was no need for me to stab him” Henry said
“ What you do?” Meursault asked
“What another wise guy would do, I called my boys had some people threatened and bribed others and I was out in the clear.” Henry said
“Oh so what you in for now?” Meursault asked
“They got me for an assault charge and there was no way of getting outta of it they had everything they need but I got three more months here.” Henry said
“Oh ok good luck with the outside I got four months until they kill me.” Meursault said
“Oh really they got you on the death penalty well we’ll see about that.’ Henry said
“What you mean?” Meursault said
“What you think once I get outta here I’m coming to get you out.” Henry said
“You are?” Meursault said
“Sure I always like a challenge just be ready the week after I leave.” Henry said


Then Henry walks away and goes to the cafeteria. After three months Henry is let out of prison and Meursault is getting ready while planning what to do when he finally free. The day Meursault is scheduled to escaped he is so happy and joyful while everyone is looking at him like he’s crazy because he’s here until he’s killed. That whole night Meursault couldn’t sleep then he hears a huge boom and gets up quick and sees Henry with a bunch of other guys with guns. Henry yells at him “Lets go!!!!!!!!”. So Meursault runs outta the prison and gets in the car with Henry and they drive off. The police were never able to find them and never really knew if they stayed together or parted ways with each other after that. They know that Henry blew the whole wall off and many prisoners escaped and many were captured except those two. All they really know is that Henry Hill and Meursault were never heard or seen from anybody again.   

2 comments:

  1. Hey Jovan I really liked your story! I though that it was written well and that the story had a good twist in the middle. It really made me think about that movie with Leanordo De Caprio where he tunnels a whole out of jail and later meets up with his friend that was released a few months before him.I really liked the way that you described the jail cells and how the man was screaming about a crime he dident commit. "he walked by a cell where he saw a guy screaming that he was innocent" I really like this quote because it was well written and really set up the story. I also think the dialog was very realistic because there were two people in jail who were sharing story's about why they were in jail and i really liked the way they talked about it. The only thing that i would say needed a little improvement would be the proof reading. There were a few words that seemed like they could be taken out but besides that it was a really good story! -Zach.Z

    ReplyDelete
  2. I- The story was mysterious, you didn't really know what was going to happen. I saw the images of the wall of the jail exploding off. The story made me think about how easy it is for someone to just leave jail and how nice people could be.

    II- The setting that was best described was the setting outside of the jail when the wall exploded. The cafeteria had some description.
    "They know that Henry blew the whole wall off and many prisoners escaped and many were captured except those two."
    I like that line the best because it lets the audience know that they were sucsessful at escaping.

    III- The conversation between the two characters was short and the details about Meursault screaming in his cell put an image in my head.

    IV- Something problematic was how here wasn't that much of describing detail of the scene. Also the first sentence was a very long run on sentence. I consider reading it over again to just make sure that everything is right.

    ReplyDelete